Looking for Validation in the wrong places

A Shot Note, Recollections of my Life 

This past Easter season, I was reminded (like in a loud way) of the saving power of Christ. This picture of me dates back to that period right after university, before graduation. I was fresh from campus and had just experienced a breakthrough in life. You see throughout my younger days I had battled with insecurities and low self-esteem attributed to mostly lack of knowledge (Read Hosea 4:6).

There was absolutely no good reason for me to look down on self.  I had a good loving family, not perfect in the world view but considering that I had lost both my biological parents at a young age, it was quite perfect to have a normal loving environment to grow in. But somehow, the thoughts of “not good enough to “fit in” creeped in and dominated my teenage to young adult mind. And so… I grew into feelings of inadequacy, unhealthy and negative comparisons to say the least. I was wary of anyone wanting to get close which made me quite anti-social.

But over time, through different experiences and situations, God met me. I grew into a deep friendship with Christ and that’s when deliverance started. He brought people in my life and taught me to open up and be vulnerable. Yes I had a few hurts in the process but that made me realise that it’s only through our vulnerability that we can begin to relate heart to heart. Otherwise, we risk leaving earth without ever living the life God destined for us to live.

As I delved deep into His word, I begun to understand that my worth is immeasurable in Christ and that contrary to what I had believed all along, I indeed had/have a wealth of wisdom, love, joy to pass on to people around me today and tomorrow. The Lord delivered me from all that big burden of rejection I had experienced and splashed me with his favour. I learned that no one can make me feel bad about myself, unless I let them. He turned all my sorrows into dancing and gave me a double portion of joy for every sorrow I had faced.

God, also taught me that my story is a powerful tool of transformation and that I should never be afraid to share it. So here’s to the beginning of sharing my story (gradually), publicly.

If you are out there, struggling with feelings of inadequacy, rest child, Rest in Christ and allow His saving power to work in your life. Don’t forget that God loves you and He has made you perfectly in His Image. (Psalm 139)

Ps. I have struggled to post this since last week but finally I realised i got to obey God.


4 thoughts on “Looking for Validation in the wrong places

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