May, the month of mixed emotions

Mom at work, back in the days. #RIP
  1. The month of May has always held a special place in my heart. It is the month in which my beautiful mama birthed me. It also carries Mother’s Day – the day in which we celebrate this special call of motherhood.

This year, Mothers’ Day or Mothering Day as some prefer to call it was not only a day to celebrate all the women that have shaped my life through their mothering, it dawned to me that I was a mother too. That I have a huge responsibility to nurture, influence someone’s future leader, husband, employer, student, friend… Oh the pressure that comes with the realization of what a huge role I recently embarked on. Mothering is no easy job. Many adults attribute 90% of their character formation to the way their mamas raised and carried themselves. No doubt it has made me seek God more. For I know I can only do this well if I have the understanding of God’s parenting style and love. I need to be more like Christ so that when my child (ren) desire to be like me, they invariably emulate Christ in me.

While I was all hanging onto the joys of motherhood, in came a week or 2 of high stress. Somethings were just not adding up. Have you been at that place where you wonder where God is? But deep down you know there’s nowhere else to turn but to stand firm and wait on the Lord who has delivered you from pitfalls before. That’s exactly how this felt. But that didn’t last either, suddenly just when we (Hubby and I) felt like our backs were against the walls, God came through and made a way. It was our turn to rejoice and give thanks again for He had showed us once again that He got us, He got the whole world and nothing, and I mean NO-THING can stand in the way of what He has planned for us to inherit. His Kingdom abundance.

Yes, not even death could contain His awesomeness for long. Talking of death, May brought another loss too. Just when I was starting to enjoy her closeness in my life Abwooli (Hubby’s granny) went to be with the Lord. Oh what a sweet kind lady she was. So generous, so hard working, so warm and inviting, Abwooli, you will always be missed. We celebrated her life on May 21st and laid her to rest amidst heartbreaks. But one thing that comforted us, she rested in the Lord. Until we meet again, rest well our Abwooli.

Birthday dinner with my love

I came out of sorrow and mourning, straight into my birthday week, (or the week before my birthday week; my birthday was on Monday 29th). I bet by now you agree that my May month was filled with mixed emotions. For some, I was not enthusiastic at all about this birthday. This was my first as a momma. The reality of old age was kicking in… felt so old (hahaha when the 30 begins to add numeros). But then I reflected on how far God has brought me and I was grateful. I am grateful that God chose me to be a part of his Kingdom. I am grateful that He has seen me through the years. I am grateful that He makes me excel and favours me continuously. I am grateful for love and family. I am grateful for friends that turned into family over the years. I am grateful for siblings that support me. I am grateful for my son that smiles for no reason. I am grateful for a loving, supportive, kind, thoughtful, peace loving, cool headed husband to stand with me in all seasons.

So as I end my recount of this emotional rollercoaster, I end on a high. So much could have gone wrong, I could have drowned in my fears and insecurities. But the Lord, the Lord made a way and I am still here. I have a purpose. I am not going to stop. I am hanging out at His feet and getting all the tips on how I can be ALL He has created me to be. I will leave a legacy for my grandchildren to be proud of.

Three important lessons . God is faithful. God Loves me. I am all He says I am.

Blessings and favour shall follow me all of the days of my life.

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