Everyone, gather around, my sister and friend, Hope K. Twesige has some insightful lessons to give to us from her extensive study and meditation on the word of God written about the Proverbs 31 woman.
This post is dedicated to the career woman who is feeling less than enough because she has not fulfilled the womanly duties as dictated by society.
Well, it all started during one of our lunch dates, Hope and I found ourselves talking about marriage and the responsibility that we the wives carry as helpers to our awesome beings – the husbands. Hope shared some deep stuff that I thought every lady in this noble calling or at least aspiring to, needed to hear. So, I invited her to share here. I am so thrilled to let you hear it all from her…
Hello Hope, tell the readers a little about yourself? How long have you been married? And anything that you would like us to know.
I am a Christian, in the Born-Again faith who is totally sold out for God. I am married to a God-fearing, handsome, loving man of noble character, my Thomas Twesige with whom I have the awesome privilege to raise our now five-year-old gorgeous girl, Zoe Kengonzi. I love life and all life-giving vibes, but my favorites include dancing, music, some good soul laughter. One of the things that I am passionate about is reaching out to children that are battling Leukemia. I am also quite curious and like to do things differently from the norm. I have been married for six years plus.
What would you say is the most important lesson you have learned about marriage these last six years plus?
I have picked up many lessons. One of them is that marriage is a journey that has a lot of learning and unlearning to do about oneself and your partner. A good marriage relationship is built and that doesn’t happen overnight. Effective communication between spouses is a good start.
So much has been said about the Proverbs 31 woman, tell us about your revelation of her being a homemaker?
Well, I have come to learn that there is more to this woman than what we perceive of her. I have come to learn that this woman is a homemaker and the breadwinner. She is the one who does all these things to make sure that the family has everything they need in season and out of season. She plans and works out the plan for the home. And guess what? The husband gets the respect of men, he is praised because of her. I tried to relate this Proverbs 31 woman to the Career woman. The one who is a full time a wife while working fulltime. I got a whole new perspective. In my mind I placed the woman in a life where she is married to a husband who may not be as financially successful as she is and his salary or income is not able to make ends meet. Basically, the husband is not in the best position to “provide” for the family. What I learned from the Proverbs 31 woman, is that her husband is respected because of how she is able to elevate him as the head of the family, regardless of his own financial contribution. She has understood her family well and knows how to hold the family together while respecting the place of her husband. She employs her strength/skills to create a beautiful home for her family, a cause that makes her husband gain praise. Because of this, her husband’s confidence is not shattered but rather built. He also acknowledges the strength within his wife and goes further to support her because she is indeed blessed. Because the husband and wife are covering and protecting each other, the society only sees the entire household as blessed. The husband’s stars eventually shine when the woman embraces her mantle.
What does that/this have to do with finances?
We are all stewards of the resources we are entrusted with. When we develop that mindset and learn to live with it, we shall have a different perspective of money. When we allow availability or unavailability of money to determine whether a marriage is good or bad, we are basically allowing the Mommon spirit to take control. We are choosing not to trust God to take care of us when we are in financial crises. There is a need to implement a number of practical Principles in order to manage our finances and be wealthy. Some as indicated in Proverbs 31 include diligence, saving, planning, strategizing effectively, knowing the right seasons( principle of sowing and harvesting) among others.
What would you wish our unmarried girlfriends knew before getting into marriage?
I would encourage my single girlfriends to do a lot of personal and territorial spiritual mapping on their boyfriends/fiancés and themselves to have knowledge of what needs to be dealt with spiritually before getting into a marriage. This could be done by getting information about the past, family history etc to get insight on prayer direction. The single ladies need to invest in the wives that they want to be or expected to be. Ladies, go learn as many skills as you can, read Christian books on marriage, get to know the wife whom God expects you to be and work on it with God to be that person.
I also encourage the ladies to ensure that they get into a marriage with a man that loves them, is Spirit-filled and has a good income source. Let the man be visionary and these things you can see in your courtship and as you pray hence the need to have a good relationship with God so you can hear His voice when it comes to wisdom and direction over a matter.